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Marriage Counselors agree that there are as many types of affairs as there are couples who are involved in them. While each is unique and needs to be treated as such there are some broad similarities across many affairs. Here are some brief descriptions of the types of affairs I’ve seen over the years.

The Double Life Affair

The person who is unfaithful in this type of affair may experience some level of discontent or unhappiness in the marriage but not enough to make him or her want to leave. To compensate, they have an affair with someone who shares many of the same interests, usually ones that they do not have in common with their spouse.

These shared interests may involve spiritual, artistic or hobby interests that the straying partner feels essential to his or her fulfillment as a human being. In some cases this could lead to the feeling that the affair partner is a soul mate of sorts.

Its almost as if two lives are developed – one with the spouse which may revolve around “real life” activities like raising the kids, paying the mortgage, etc… and a second life with the affair partner which may revolve around “fun life” activities.

Emotional Affairs 

This type of marital affair can be just as, if not more so shocking and destructive as a sexual affair.

The lack of sexual involvement is often used as a rationalization as to why it’s not it’s not an affair. People involved in emotional affairs will oftentimes become indignant at the suggestion that an affair may be occurring with “my best friend who just happens to be someone of the opposite sex”. And, in fairness, people are so good at rationalizing that they may be deeply involved in an emotional affair and truly believe that it is simply a very close friendship. However, the emotional intensity of this type of relationship and what it drains from the marital relationship is much more than what happens with a best friend.

How do you distinguish between a friendship and an emotional affair? Two questions you can ask are: a) Does your partner’s “best friend” have more information or insight into your partner’s everyday or emotional life than you? b) Does their “friend” know more about your marriage than you? 

One Night Stand Affairs

This type of affair is usually unplanned and are usually due to an impulsive decision in which one was lost in the moment. Business trips or nights out on the town are often when these occur and, while one night stands can sometimes happen with someone known, the majority of the them involve a relative stranger Alcohol or other recreational drugs may contribute to the situation.

The vast majority of people who have one night stands want to stay in their marriages and are plagued with guilt or a fear of being found out.

I’m Deeply Unhappy with My Marriage Affairs 

As indicated by the name, in this type of marital affair the partner who strays is unhappy in the marriage and may feel as if s/he is no longer in love with their spouse. Or, they may say that they love their spouse as a brother or sister but no longer are “in love” with their spouse. They may see their marriage as a dead end.

These types of affairs typically have their roots in friendship which become romanticized over time. They may start with a mutual disclosure of unhappiness in their respective marriages. While these relationships will usually be sexualized their real power comes from the emotional needs that are being met that are lacking in the marriage. They are usually long term romances in which the affair partners feel that they are in love with one another and may be talking about a new life together. Happiness can only be found when they are together.

Although they are oftentimes not aware of it, the feelings generated by this type of marital affair are often intensified by the illicit nature of the affair. Although people in this type of affair don’t like hearing this, the odds of them having a successful long term relationship are very low. Research has indicated that only about 10% of affair couples are together after several years.

The marital problems combined with the seeming fulfillment of the affair oftentimes make these people very reluctant to work on marital affair recovery. However, all is not lost. In virtually every relationship no matter how bad, there remains some good. Helping the straying partner focus on the remaining good, the tendency for humans to use a self confirmation bias to prove to themselves that all is bad when it really is not and helping them realize what they may actually lose oftentimes at least helps bring them to the point of being willing to give the marriage one last try.

These marriages have a surprisingly high survival rate if the partner is willing to commit him or herself to a period of time to restore the marriage. Sometimes asking for a initial commitment to try of say 15 weeks and they re-evaluate is more likely to work than asking for a complete commitment because it gives them some sense of freedom.

Tiger Woods Marital Affairs

Most people are familiar with how Tiger Woods’ sexual addiction drove him to have an extraordinary number of affairs. Many people who Tiger Woods types of affairs describe themselves as relatively happy in their relationship. However, they’ve never been able to find complete fulfillment from it because they are enslaved by obsessive needs and compulsive behaviors. Hard as it is for many to believe, sex addicts truly feel powerless in their ability to control their desires.

Just like Tiger, more often than not the sex addict does not want his/her marriage to fail. Its about something inside of them, not the marriage. Usually they were addicts before the marriage and may have stopped for awhile when first married only to be pick up again when they realize that the marriage can’t meet the needs of their addiction.

They may feel trapped in a destructive cycle of feeling hopelessly trapped by their behaviors and at times by their marriages, but are afraid to come clean because they don’t want to lose their marriage or their addictive behavior.

This type of betrayal can be very difficult for the spouse because a) the breadth of the betrayal can seem so enormous and b) while most people can understand alcohol or drug addiction, sexual addiction is a tough one for most to have much empathy for.

Love is the Drug for Me Affairs   

Love addiction marital affairs differ from Tiger Woods types of marital affairs in that, although they have an addictive quality to them, they are more about the intensity of a new relationship than sex (although sex is often involved). Love addicts tend to move from one relationship to the next and they will oftentimes feel very uncomfortable or lost if they are not involved in an intense relationship.

The goal of the love addict is to find that one right person, except they never seem to be able to find that person. They may have a some sense of security in their marriage, but it just doesn’t feel 100% right to them.  They may feel as if they married the wrong person and have a one foot in one foot out feeling about the marriage as they search for their perfect mate. 

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Loads of older  adults may want to look for a new  partner because their better half has died  or they have seperated  for one reason or another. Using traditional   web sites they may feel self-conscious  due to  the age irregularityirregularity , but when they can  use  a site that is specific to their age group, it can be a fun  adventure  for them, no matter if they are looking for another partner or just a companion.

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If you are looking for someone  who shares the same interests and hobbies as you do and want that to be a main emphasis of their life, then you may  opt to use an online dating sitethat targets individuals  who are interested in certain things such as photography, hunting or fishing, water sports, toys, sports, cinema etc.

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The large quantity of dating web sites that are available is one of the reasons that make online dating such a great proposition. You can pick and choose which dating site will suit your wants , whether for religious needs or personal needs   and find  a  web site that caters to that. Online dating is now accommodating all people  from all walks of life: young and old, Catholics and Jewish affiliations, and also hobbies and interests. If you want a site that will comprehensively complement you, all you should do is  a little research and make a decision  on which one best fits you, then set up a profile and submit your subscription. The rest is easily taken care of with the features and services that the site offers .

Did you know there are lots of ways of dealing with break up?  Some individuals go into a deep despair when their ex dumps them.  Others find a profound sense of freedom when they are de-coupled.  Most people fall someplace in the middle.  They find that they are unhappy about the split, but can transfer on with their lives.  Listed below are 5 methods of coping with break up.

1.    Get back on the market – fast.  Tell your entire mates that you just’ve dumped the last loser and also you’re on the lookout for dates.  Go out with all kinds of individuals and do a wide variety of activities.  Don’t expect to fall in love rapidly when coping with break up this fashion, but you will have numerous fun.  Make sure that you’re not just masking disappointment with a pretend type of giddy happiness though.  

2.    Reconnect with mates and family.  You most likely spent much less time along with your friends and family when you were in an intense relationship.  After it is over, you may want to fix a few of these ties.  Your family will probably be supportive, but anticipate that some of them could have come to see your ex as part of the family already and be dissatisfied by your resolution to name it off.  Your folks, alternatively, may be considerably miffed that you simply haven’t spent as much time with them and now you want back in the “interior circle.”  Be ready to place effort and love into the relationships with your pals and family.

3.    Take up old activities.  Typically if you end up in a relationship, a number of the things you enjoy doing take a backseat to issues your ex enjoyed doing with you.  The break up offers you a chance to explore these activities again.  You might even discover a new accomplice inside the social exercise in an effort to incorporate it into a new romantic relationship.

4.    Coping with breakup can be a great time to start out a new activity.  If in case you have all the time wished to water ski, there’s no time like the present.  By pushing yourself to try new actions, especially ones that scare you a bit, you push yourself past your boundaries.  This can be a possibility for self growth.

5.    Mourn.  Don’t stay in this state for too long, but when coping with breakup, it’s worthwhile to give yourself a chance to heal.  No matter who truly known as it off, a break up up is like slicing a bit of your body off.  You need time for the injuries to heal.  Permitting yourself to mourn can be a time for self growth.  Just make certain that you don’t stay in this place for too long.

Remember that there have been good things about your ex and unhealthy things.  Try to keep some perspective about the relationship.  Study from it and move on.  Dealing with break up might be laborious, however you may survive and thrive.