Dutch Dating
Dutch dating, or “to go dutch,” is the process of dating somebody in any way where each person covers their own costs. This means that if you are going for a meal together, you both pay independently for what you buy. In this article I am assuming a man and a woman are dating.
Whether this approach is for you is something that you will have to decide. If you are a man, are you looking for a woman who is independent and not looking for a free meal ticket for life? Or do you see yourself more as the type of person who “brings home the bacon,” as it were, and prefer to pay the entire tab yourself?
Women may wish to go dutch for other reasons. Usually if one person pays on a first date, it would be the man; it demonstrates an attitude of fairness if the woman offers to pay for herself. Some women may not even be comfortable if their date pays for them. On the other hand, other women may wish to “test” their potential suitor to see whether he will pay, and is capable of providing for any future family that may occur.
If a man is paying for a first date, it can also set up an undesirable situation in which either or both parties think that the woman owes something to the man in question. This situation can be avoided completely by going dutch.
Going dutch can also avoid the situation in which one person’s tab is significantly higher than the other’s. For example, assuming the man is paying for dinner and a soft drink for himself, and the woman has gone for a starter, the most expensive dinner on the menu, a dessert and wine, this could set up a resentment situation, which neither of you will wish for.
Both people can have reasons for preferring the approach to be dutch or man paying, so the decision you should take if you want to do what the other person wants may be difficult to make without making assumptions. The way I handle this situation at the start of a relationship is to go dutch, because that I feel in the modern era is the fair way to go about dating, and I don’t worry about losing a woman because she wasn’t prepared to pay for herself. There are plenty of women out there, after all! But this approach will not suit everybody; I am a somewhat selfish person.
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May 19th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Great article I like. I am only going on dutch dates.
December 26th, 2009 at 3:00 am
Great to see you using proper english, so many bloggers these days abbreviate everything and it annoys me! Great post. Where’s the subscribe button?
December 29th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
The subscribe button is to the right of the title in the bar at the top.
.-= David´s last blog ..The body-language of glass holding =-.
January 25th, 2010 at 1:54 am
I am making my girlfriend read this article. I still pay for everything after 6 months of dating. Great post!
April 4th, 2010 at 1:35 am
What I cannot figure out is why women always say they want to find a nice guy but then they always seem to go for jerks. Does a guy have to be a jerk or a “bad boy” to pick up hot girls these days?
April 7th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
The home loans seem to be important for guys, which want to organize their own business. As a fact, that is not really hard to receive a collateral loan.
June 23rd, 2010 at 8:20 pm
Dutch dating, never heard of that before. I wonder how a girl would feel if I break out that new term I just learned. Probably have to be comfortable with a girl to be bold enough to say that without ruining your chances!
July 3rd, 2010 at 1:46 am
I am tired of paying for everything. I meant someone while speed dating and I have to tell you that I have never been as broke as I am now. It’s better to go dutch. If a woman wants free food, let her become a beggar.
July 7th, 2010 at 4:55 am
No way Jose. I am a traditional woman and I strongly believe that men should treat us like the ladies we are.