You need to avoid doing these as much as possible while flirting or in any dating situation, because they don’t make you look attractive; rather, they make the person you are with feel uncomfortable, even if they don’t know why. This is also true of other real-life interactions such as with a friend or colleague, so these tips may help you in other areas! It’s actually worth doing some of these in an exaggerated way if you are in an awkward situation that you want to avoid.

1. Staring at the ground. I used to do this, and I didn’t even notice I was doing it! Head bowed as you’re walking along is an indicator of somebody who is not confident. What you need to do is to imagine a thread running through your body, up through the top of your head, and towards the sky. Imagine that the thread is holding your head up! When you do this, not only will you appear far more confident to others, but you will influence your own mood in a positive way also!

2. Scratching your neck, fiddling with your collar, or scratching your head. Yes, all right, if you have an itch then you may need to scratch it. However, these are indicators that you are uncomfortable. Try to keep your hands away from your head or neck, and if you do find them near your head, change the motion you were about to perform into one of smoothing your hair, adjusting your tie, or similar.

3. Holding up your head with your arm. If you’re doing this, you’re bored. It’s very noticeable. It will mean that your date will think they are boring you, and tend to want to stop talking to you! It’s even worse if you yawn!

4. Not facing your date, not making eye contact with them, and not moving. If you think about it, have you ever tried talking to somebody doing these three things? If they combine it with a low voice, you tend to think they are sick! You soon leave them to it if that’s the case. You must make eye contact, not by staring but by reaching a natural level of eye contact while communicating. Staring is sometimes useful, and it will be covered in a future article! If you are shy, you must practice, and perhaps use some of the visualisation techniques discussed in an earlier article about flirting.

5. Being as slumped as a couch potato! You want to relax, but not be quite that relaxed. You’re giving off signals that you are not at all excited about what you are doing at present; the conversation isn’t inspiring; you don’t care to be with your date. Try to sit upright, or even better, try to lean towards your date, especially if he/she is sitting by your side!

6. Sitting back from your date. Especially if you have your arms and/or legs folded. These say that you don’t want to be where you are at the moment; you’d rather be somewhere else. You’re not interested in anything your date has to say.

Some people notice these body language signs more than others, so you may have been successful even if you do some of these things, but do try to be aware of your body and your posture; it will reward you to do so in the long run! Especially notice what you are doing while flirting. If you follow these suggestions, you will connect more with your date, and have more fun!

It’s really, extraordinarily simple. You’ll think of me as a right one when you find out what it is!

The best pick-up line is this: “Hi!”

It’s true! You need to say it with a warm, confident smile, and open body language. Make sure that you face the person you are talking to; do not have crossed arms or legs; and make eye contact.

Of course, you can’t just stop there. However, just asking “Would you like to go out with me?” is not likely to get you anywhere. The problem is that the other person doesn’t know you at all; the ice has not been broken! What you need to do is to start making some smalltalk at this point.

Does he/she have anything that you particularly noticed that’s moderately unusual, like a musical instrument badge? You could ask, “I couldn’t help notice your badge. Do you play the guitar?” Or maybe an unusual jacket, in which case you say something like, “What an unusual coat! I’ve never seen one like that before. It looks great on you. I hope you don’t mind me mentioning it.”

Maybe you are in the supermarket, near the wines. You could try, “I’m cooking for a dinner party tonight, but I don’t know a lot about wines. Do you know what wine would go well with chicken?” Note that you don’t actually have to be cooking for a dinner party tonight. You’re looking for an opener; something that will get you talking, but not seem too forward at this stage.

Try to use open questions. An open question is a question that requires a sentence to answer, rather than just a single word. For example, “What do you like about this area?” is an open question. “Do you live round here?” is a closed question, because possible answers are yes or no. Open questions give a greater chance for smalltalk to proceed without seeming unnatural.

If the conversation is drying up and you still fancy her/him, try and keep the conversation going at all costs, even if it is obvious that you fancy her/him.

While you’re doing all this, look at the body language you are receiving. The person you fancy is making good eye contact with you, seems quite relaxed, has turned to face you and does not have crossed arms or legs? These are excellent signs. However, if she/he has turned away from you and has never made eye contact with you, she/he is not interested in you for whatever reason. That’s the time to make a graceful exit.

In the dating world, there is no such thing as failure. There is only feedback.

What this statement means is that you can be unsuccessful at dating, maybe asking a girl out, and you can choose to view it as a success. Why? Because you have learned that the particular dating technique you used on that occasion did not work.

You need to develop a mind-set that looks on unsuccessful dating attempts as feedback. If you look on limited success or lack of success as something that you can build on, then you will be a lot happier about any rejections or problems that occur. Treat them as learning experiences, and you will feel much better about whatever happens, whether you do something that works or something that doesn’t. This will then come across in your confidence, which will increase by leaps and bounds, and soon you’ll find it much easier to date and flirt!

Often, dating confidence is all about getting over that initial confidence hurdle. Your stomach ties itself up in knots, and you build up a huge picture that it will be the end of the world if you get rejected. Of course, it won’t be! It may not be particularly pleasant for you if you do get rejected, but experience is how you learn! If it was easy, it would not be worthwhile!

The more times you try dating, asking people out, flirting and the like, the more comfortable you will get with the entire process. You will achieve more success, simply because you’ll be more at ease, and this will come across in your body language, your mannerisms, your voice; everything about you!

Let’s face it. You won’t need several hundred attempts to connect with the opposite sex before you succeed! Keep at it, and you will learn how to flirt successfully, how to date successfully, and how to have a great time!